The Space Between

I joke that I have been a total waste of a human being this week and, as you know, most of my jokes are based on truth.

When Andrew changed jobs in May, he went to Ireland for a week. What did I do? Well, first, I had a wisdom tooth removed (sounds like an equal trade there, right?). I figured this would really make me a waste of a human being for a while so I made no plans for the days following. Turns out it was no big deal, so I've gone to the opera, taken a flexibility class, cleaned, read, and spent lots of time playing Civ IV and cuddling with my adorable kitten, who likes to sleep and watch TV as much as I do. With only two days left, I'm worried that I'm not making the most of this time. I'm also having a hard time convincing myself that I'm really not going back to NYCO on Monday.

So, to help me part with my old job, I hope you all (yes, all 2 of you who read this blog) will humor me with a trip down memory lane as I sum-up my favorite accomplishments at NYCO.

• I wrote the NYCO blog from January until October 30th
• I managed the youtube, facebook, and myspace pages, including elements of their design and all the content. Yes, that list of youtube videos featuring the Muppets singing opera was all me
• I produced all the videos and podcasts we made. My favorite one is the Don Giovanni behind-the-scenes video (so hot!)
• I survived working in a basement...of a construction site...with my desk in a hallway for the better part of two years

It's nice to know that among the tasks that disappear as soon as they're finished, like customer service and processing bills and all the minutia of the job, I have a body of work I can point to and say "I did that." I'll tie these up with a little bow and know that they're there when I need to remember the cooler aspects of working at an opera house.

So now to look forward. I have lots to do before I'm ready to start at Patch on Monday, not the least of which is filling out the rest of my starting paperwork and making sure I have respectable clothes to wear (it's amazing how much your standards slip when you've got construction workers walking past your desk all the time). I may find the time and energy to go dancing or take a dance class. I'm blocking myself from Civ IV today but the kitten looks awfully cuddly....

Something Wiccan this way Comes

More than ten years ago, I became a witch. Now, the next logical question for anyone who's ever seen the Wizard of Oz is, "well Chrissy, are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"

My answer, which Dorothy would never have given Glinda, is "that depends on how you're measuring." You see, I'm the Wiccan equivalent of the Christian who only goes to church for Christmas and Easter, or the Jew who skips the fasting holidays but observes the feasting. Most of the time I don't know what phase the moon is in, I don't grow lavender for luck, and I certainly don't cast spells wearing nothing but a pointy hat, but of all the religions I researched all those years ago, Wicca made the most sense to me. By that measure, I guess you could say I'm a bad witch (though by no means, I hope, a bad person).

Samhain approaches. It's the Wiccan new year, though this is not why it's so important to me (after all, I forget half of the holidays during the year). It's important to me because it's my new year. October is always a time of transition in my life and this year that is especially true. Andrew and I have gone through our first year-and-a-day of marriage, which was more of a milestone to me than I allowed myself to admit at the time. I'm transitioning careers. I feel older and maybe I even dare say wiser this year. I feel like I'm growing up in ways I can't quite measure or express, but I know they're there.

This year we're celebrating with a Twisted Tea Party (think Alice in Wonderland). Though we've got lots of fun twists to go with the theme, as in years past, I'll serve apples and meat dishes, setting a place for those I've lost, I'll light candles and read people's fortunes, and make a resolution for the new year. It's going to be a great time.

The reason Wiccans celebrate Samhain is because we know that as the days get shorter and the harvest is reaped, next year's life is already getting started. Wicca is full of symbols that understand the dual nature of things, that life and death or darkness and light are not opposites, but two sides of the same coin. I can feel my life churning in ways I don't yet comprehend, but change is happening. I can't wait to meet it.

Patching Up

For professional reasons, I haven't been able to write about a huge part of my life for the past few months. I've been looking for a new job, applying to lots of different companies (none in non-profit) in the hopes that I could take another step in my career even with the economy the way it is. Guiding me along the way were my loving and supportive husband, my family, a few friends, and the book Can I Wear my Nose Ring to the Interview? (which I highly recommend to my friends in the job-hunting trenches). Reality exceeded my hopes when I had not one, but two job really awesome offers to choose from, both coming in on the same crazy Friday that made it almost impossible to focus on my work.

On Tuesday I accepted a position as Associate Product Manager for Patch.com, a web startup that I've continuously tried to explain and failed, so here's a quote from their About Us page:

Simply put, Patch is a new way to find out about, and participate in, what’s going on near you. We’re a community-specific news and information platform dedicated to providing comprehensive and trusted local coverage for individual towns and communities. We want to make your life better by giving you quick access to the information that’s most relevant to you. Patch makes it easy to:

• Keep up with news and events
• Look at photos and videos from around town
• Learn about local businesses
• Participate in discussions
• Submit your own announcements, photos, and reviews

The site is starting out small but plans are booming, so it's the perfect time for me to get on board and try a new challenge. In addition to all the assumable and obvious perks of switching jobs, I will also finally be out of the NYCO basement and into a top-floor office in SoHo. My new boss and coworkers seem awesome and I can hardly wait until November 16th to start.

A Night In

I have been very busy lately. Of course, how else would you expect me to start my first post since August? The biggest tug on my free time has been the community theater production of Candide I've been in. I started to say "I've sold my soul to community theater" because it took up so many nights of my week that even Andrew started to forget what I looked like (ok, slight exaggeration, but he certainly began to forget what it was like to have someone buy groceries and make dinner).

I've been singing in the ensemble of the group and covering the roles of Cunegonde and Paquette, which means I now have one heck of a "Glitter and be Gay" that may not see the light of day any time soon (feel free to request it at parties...with a pianist present...after I've warmed up and before I've had more than 2 drinks). For the most part, this experience has been a lot of fun, but after months of rehearsals, and now that we're heading into our second of three weekends of performances, I'm eager for the end and the return of quiet nights in.

Last night was just such a night. I took the opportunity to work a little late (payback after getting out early so many nights for the show) and came home to a pretty ideal night. Andrew cooked dinner, we took care of some household stuff, and then snuggled in bed to watch Miss Potter with a cinnamon candle burning (my favorite) and a kitten curled up at our feet. The movie was better than I expected (I hadn't expected much, to be honest), Andrew fell asleep before the end, and I was in absolute heaven. I'm looking forward to more nights like this to get me through the winter.

Can dancing give you whiplash?

Apparently, it can. My dance instructor kicked my butt yesterday. After learning a snazzy section of Fosse's choreography to "Sing, sing, sing," my entire body is aching. Well, not my entire body, just my neck (ahh, Fosse whiplash) and my legs--if only I could live in a world without stairs! The rest of me is exhausted, but feels a little leaner and meaner. I also found that I could bend and stretch more after 6 weeks of dance classes than I've been able to do since last summer, when I was doing movement 5 mornings a week.

There are certain activities, like dancing and singing, that I tend to abandon every time I get low on free time and money. Whenever I do pick them up again, I feel like I've woken up from a long, grey sleep, and the little girl that used to sing into her hairbrush while dancing around her bedroom shakes her head at my surprise at how easily these activities come back to me as if to say, "well...duh." The odd thing is that this cycle happens so frequently, I pretty much always feel as if I'm slipping into that sleep or shaking it off. You'd think I'd wise up and actually make the time and the money available to keep these activities in my life so I don't feel that way, but both can be so hard to come by sometimes.

What activity would you pick up again if you had an extra hour or two in your days and more dollars in the bank?

The road not considered

"Let's give it a try"

I don't think I say this phrase enough. I'm too used to being one step ahead of the conversation, to thinking of reasons why something might fail, why a course should be chosen or averted. I'm not always good at strategy (I'm very easy to beat in chess) but I am good at imagining results of certain decisions. Where I lack this insight especially, is visually. I watch HGTV in awe at the designers who can take an old barn and turn it into a palace. If you were to ask me to mark-off a 3-foot square on the floor I would probably end up with a 4.3-foot trapezoid. It's actually quite pathetic.

Last night, Andrew and I rearranged our living room to incorporate a newly-acquired dining table and four chairs. We started by talking about what we should do but, in a rare moment of personal insight, I said "I'm never going to know until I see it. Let's just try things out." The first attempt was the most difficult. We put a table here, the couch there, and it looked bad. Fortunately, we were ready to tackle the problem, so when Andrew suggested something else, I said "let's give it a try." I probably uttered that phrase more often last night than I have in the entire summer as we arranged and rearranged until we were satisfied (and the pizza came).

The result surprised me. Not only did we end up with a fantastic living and dining area, but that spirit of being willing to try pervaded the whole evening. We were more open-minded in our conversations, better listeners, better at trying to express something, failing, and trying something else.

So though Robert Frost may have taken the road less travelled by when they diverged in that yellow wood, I like to imagine that, were I walking with Andrew, he might suggest going off the path entirely, and that I might say "sure, let's give it a try."

Actions

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
―William James


I subscribe to Real Simple's "Daily Thought" email. Every day, first thing in the morning, a quote like the one above wings its way to my inbox to amuse or inspire me. I loved this one, especially paired as it was with this picture (any subtle hints to my husband are purely coincidental), because it reminded me how often I take my own actions for granted. And it got me thinking; how would I act if I was always aware of the difference my actions could make? I tried this today and here's what I've come up with so far today:

• took a few extra minutes this morning to give my kitten undivided attention rather than shooing him from my computer's keyboard. Difference: It put a smile on my face and he seemed to enjoy it.
• took out the garbage and recycling in preparation for our trip. Difference: Now I don't have to ask my husband to do it tonight and I'll come home to a better-smelling apartment.
• sent an email out to my fraternity telling them my plans if elected president of the alumni association. This going to take a big belief that I can make a difference, because I want to implement some pretty significant changes.
• wrote back to some of the people who have emailed or facebook messaged me because I always feel a little odd when I write a friendly note to someone that goes unanswered. Difference: maybe I've averted a friend's sense of awkwardness at my non-response
• used my lunch break to get a bikini wax and pedicure in preparation for the beach. Selfish? Absolutely. Difference in my mood and sense of self: immeasurable (plus such a good feeling meant the woman who performed these services got a great tip).
• focused on my posture while walking today (my new dance teacher has me thinking a lot about this) Difference: I feel more attractive and more confident. This feeling will inevitably bleed into my interactions today.
• Responded with more friendliness and generosity of spirit to my typical customer service issues: people wanting free tickets, vendors wanting us to use their services, and complaining customers. Difference: Much friendlier responses than I usually get and potentially good karma for my company.

Something I'm noticing now that I'm reading through this is how dramatically my choices affect my experiences. Of course that's logical, all of our actions are going to affect us the most, and then those closest to us, and then those we encounter, and so on and so on, but it's nice to know that I'm not as much at the mercy of fate as I sometimes feel I am. Maybe I don't have the power to change the world today, but my actions can still make a difference to those around me and in my own life.

What would you do differently if you were more aware of the difference you make?